I'm a 39 year old broad who has cultivated a professional career around
the idea that as long as the paycheck covers the bills, we're good.
That worked fine until June 2011, when The Powers That Be called that
bluff and put me in a whole new line of work. I still have a job, I'm
thankful, blah blah blah, but in the immortal words of a very wise (if
hoard-prone) mermaid, I want more. And less. I want more of the world
that allows me to spend time with my family and less of the world that
makes me clench up my shoulders and roll my eyes.
My husband also works full time, and travels quite a bit because of it.
When he's home, we have so much fun together, when we remember to.
He's the driving force behind me getting my grip, and without him I
would be a mess.
Our daughter Boo was born in January 2009. I want her to grow up in a
house that is clean but not scary (you know what I'm talking about
there...) and a Mama who is busy but not overwhelmed by it. I want to
be a good example for Boo, and to help her learn to find her own grip
someday.
Oh god, I know what you mean. Every single sad word of it. You are not alone, hon. I teach high school (which brings a whole other set of headaches with mandatory testing every other fucking week lately). While this is truly what I want to do, I am increasingly sick of it and the bullshit that surrounds the job I love. I am never home because I need to "give more to my students" and "be there for them in their achievements". What about my own two year old, who barely knows what I look like anymore? Add to that grad school so I don't have to worry about standardized testing, and my house is a flipping wreck.
ReplyDeleteSomeone please shoot me. Please.
It's not easy to keep it in balance. It can be such a struggle! We hear you loud and clear!
ReplyDelete